FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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