i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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