Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
