he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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