I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
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I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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