I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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