I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
