My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
