"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
