I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
