Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
