let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
