I feel like abortions should bother me more
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
