I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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