we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
