I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
