your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
