yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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