She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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