Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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