8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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