After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Randomize
