I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
