never play flip cup with pint glasses
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
