Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
