He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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