I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
