My cat gives me a boner
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.