Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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