you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
No subtext here. People are naked.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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