you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
