you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
