You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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