Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
