Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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