I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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