I'm so fucking centered right now
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
