And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
