Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
