But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
