i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
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