he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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