i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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