Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
