I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
