Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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