god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
