I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
