Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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