She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
