just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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