I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
