im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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