I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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