Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
