Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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