it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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