I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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