it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize