You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
