Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
