Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We left the knife in your bed.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
