I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
